Top ten signs it’s time to look for a new job

Kids, when’s enough enough? How do you know it’s time to move on to the next gig? Here’re some telltale signs of mine.

10. You find little bits of spittle on the sides of your mouth every time you talk to your boss.

9. You have images of yourself running through fields of flowers toward your company’s biggest competitor.

8. You say, “What’s it to YOU?” every time someone asks you for a status update.

7. Your hand hurts at the end of each business day from slamming your fist on the edge of your desk.

6. You giggle and delete without reading every work-related email you receive.

5. Just before you delete those work-related emails you insert an emoticon.

4. You actually say out loud “What the f**k?” when your boss gives you a new project.

3. You wish there were an emoticon of a head sticking through a noose.

2. You try to make an emoticon of a head sticking through a noose—wasting hours trying to get the angle just right.

1. You find yourself swabbing the mess at the state pen because of a wild spree with an ax in the office … wait, no, then it would be too late to look for a new job, wouldn’t it? [Oh come on! What’s a little hyperbole among friends?]

What've you guys got?

WOW: gimcrack

PRONUNCIATION: (JIM-krak)

I like this word. As a noun, it means: Something cheap and showy, of little use. As an adjective: Showy, but worthless.

I'm giddy thinking of all the ways this word applies to my workaday world. For instance, the gimcrack project I'm working on right now. I told my boss on Friday that I knew no one would use the particular aspect of the project I'm busting my butt to finish. I'd literally spoken with folks around the world who said they didn't need it. In other words, I had empirical evidence of gimcrack. You know what she said? "We promised to provide this today, so keep going."

I'm sorry? Did I inadvertently suggest that I think and apply reason to my work? Silly me.

So anyway, back to our word. Its etymology is uncertain, as my sources say: "perhaps an alteration of Middle English gibecrake (small ornament), possibly from Old French giber (to shake)." That'll clear things up, won't it?

Here's an example I really like: "Uncle Rabid Prophet TechEye has worshiped more gimcrack bits of junk and practiced more half-baked religions than all of Hollywood combined."
Bow Down And Open Your Wallet; Warsaw Business Journal (Poland); Aug 21, 2006.
Special thanks to Anu Garg for pointing out this word.

Never, never be afraid to do what's right, especially if the well-being of a person or animal is at stake. Society's punishments are small compared to the wounds we inflict on our soul when we look the other way. -Martin Luther King Jr., civil-rights leader (1929-1968)

Plenty of kind, decent, caring people have no religious beliefs, and they act out of the goodness of their hearts. Conversely, plenty of people who profess to be religious, even those who worship regularly, show no particular interest in the world beyond themselves. -John Danforth, priest, ambassador, senator (b. 1936)

When you don't know what to do...

...reorganize! When I was a little girl, I frequently moved the furniture around in my room. Growing up in Connecticut you see was not as thrilling as it sounds . . . so imagine. Getting up in the middle of the night to pee took on a new thrill as I wondered briefly where I was and then, more importantly, where did I put that daing bookcase.

Reminds me of a company I worked for that would scoot around their executives every summer, a game of musical chairs--only there were always enough chairs for them. They'd put a VP of marketing here, a Senior VP of engineering over there, and a Director of new business development in the corner. [Note: you never want to be in charge of "new business development" it's just one step away from "spending more time with your family."]

So, how do you like what I've done with the place?