Kids, when’s enough enough? How do you know it’s time to move on to the next gig? Here’re some telltale signs of mine.
10. You find little bits of spittle on the sides of your mouth every time you talk to your boss.
9. You have images of yourself running through fields of flowers toward your company’s biggest competitor.
8. You say, “What’s it to YOU?” every time someone asks you for a status update.
7. Your hand hurts at the end of each business day from slamming your fist on the edge of your desk.
6. You giggle and delete without reading every work-related email you receive.
5. Just before you delete those work-related emails you insert an emoticon.
4. You actually say out loud “What the f**k?” when your boss gives you a new project.
3. You wish there were an emoticon of a head sticking through a noose.
2. You try to make an emoticon of a head sticking through a noose—wasting hours trying to get the angle just right.
1. You find yourself swabbing the mess at the state pen because of a wild spree with an ax in the office … wait, no, then it would be too late to look for a new job, wouldn’t it? [Oh come on! What’s a little hyperbole among friends?]
What've you guys got?
You spend more time in the kitchen than at your desk.
ReplyDeleteYou arrive late, leave early.
You sneak around the back stairs and slip in and out of your cube when the boss isn't looking.
You mute your games so others only hear your busy typing.
I know these are very unoriginal... but there was a time in my life when I had to hang out a couple more weeks for a tidy bonus. I won't mention the company, but it was one LONG commute from home.
You bring novels to work and spend the day creatively finding time to read them. Kindle would probably work better, come to think of it.
ReplyDeleteYou only answer the phone when it's not someone you work with. (Thank god for caller ID.)
ReplyDeleteThe office manager no longer acts surprised when you need to replace a broken phone.
You take a mental health day, and think, gosh, cleaning up my files at home sounds way better than going into the office.
Yeah! I haven't cleaned my files since I stopped working!!!
ReplyDelete