The Cynicism of Others

Far be it from me, pals, to be critical of the cynicism of others, living most of my life in aforesaid state [I’ve been reading legal briefs lately, let the reader be warned], but this one’s got me going. Remember I told you a while ago about the pay cuts at my company? Twenty percent at the top, trickling down to the bottom dwellers like me who get 5% less each pay period? Well the results are in and I’m gonna blow. Check it out:

The CEO put forth this emotional case detailing that to keep the company viable we all had to make sacrifices and he’s taking the biggest hit. I read yesterday that his 20% cut only applied to his $1.5 million base pay. No surprises, I spilled those beans weeks ago. And no secret that he still gets his bonus, presumably bolstered by having cut costs company-wide with the damn pay cut. But get this: his bonus is $48 MILLION DOLLARS [can you hear my heart pounding from where you sit?].

Now, okay, I get it, he’s a smart guy, he’s making the big decisions. And our company is doing okay, not failing like BabyLith, who’s CEO only got $11 million dollars for running that company into the ground. A year that is, $11 million a year. But to throw $300,000 back at the employees as a gesture of magnanimity [yes, that’s a word, I looked it up] while tucking $48 million in his bra strap [just a symbolic statement, I’m not suggesting he’s a cross-dresser, how would *I* know?]…kids, that’s even more cynical than your friend Mary can fathom.

I’m trying to imagine someone saying, “Mary, you’re the best damn blogger this side of the Atlantic. Here’s $50 million dollars, bring it on!” Would I sheepishly turn aside, blushing slightly, and say, “Oh come on guys, I do this for the love of it, I don’t need your money”? Likely not, I’d realize that every weekly blog post [I could probably do them weekly with 50 Gs sitting in the bank] would rake in upwards of $1 million…assuming two weeks for the winter shutdown and a modest trip to Aruba every year {snigger, let the record show: I’ve never even been to Aruba}.

I found out too that colleagues in other parts of the world had to vote on whether or not to accept the pay cut. Apparently, other countries have laws that PROTECT workers. Go figure. Anyway, at least one country decided they’d rather continue paying the mortgage than work for free [oh come on! What would the world be without hyperbole?]. Now those who voted for the cut are waiting for the axe to fall [that’s hip talk for “layoff” as opposed to tech talk of “RIF” which stands for Reduction in Force, not Rest in Foreclosure].

It’s all got me thinking about what my superstar Bill Maher has been saying: when’s enough enough? Do we need CEOs to be managing for growth constantly? Yes, we had some good times in the 90s, but do we have to have year-over-year growth that makes mega-mega millionaires mega-mega bajillionaires?

What do you think?